I promise, you’re good! We all have days when things just don’t go right. We all have situations that didn’t delight us. We all face disappointment. Even those who seem to have it all together are not exempt from a bad day. Hope is great, but it comes with a downside - disappointment.
Here are 7 strategies for getting over disappointment:
1. Give yourself a limited time to feel bad. Acknowledge the letdown but don't get mired in it. Give yourself a day but then move on.
2. Don’t ruminate about what might have been. The more you dwell on the disappointment, the more it will hurt and disrupt your ability to focus, concentrate, problem-solve, or be creative. So be careful not to feed the disappointment and deepen your emotional hurt.
3. Avoid self-pity. Self-pity comes with a price, it takes away feelings of empowerment and makes us feel as though we don’t have control over our lives. It can foster a bad mood and even depression if you get stuck for too long.
4. Use self-compassion. Be sympathetic toward yourself and compassionate about the fact that you hurt. Don’t beat yourself up or become self-critical; doing so will only hurt your confidence, damage your self-esteem, and make you feel worse.
5. Put it in perspective. We often feel disappointed about things we are unlikely to remember in a month’s time. If the disappointment you experienced was significant, try to focus on the larger picture of your life and remind yourself of all the things that are going well and for which you can be grateful.
6. Identify the next opportunity. There’s always next season. Regardless of what disappointed you, spend a few moments figuring out when and how you can try again.
7. Remember: Success does not equal happiness. Identify the things that truly bring you joy. You may find it’s the things that you already have and can embrace and enjoy everyday.
I have a list 5 quick “Pick me ups” that I know will immediately make me feel better. At first when I heard of the idea of making a list of simple things, I thought it was corny. Until I had something happen and I needed to channel my focus to avoid feeling low. They are simple but they spark a sense of joy in me. I keep the list handy (it’s on my cell) so when I need a spark, I can go right to something that will spark my turnaround. My 5 are: Vanilla Scented Candles, Fred Hammond’s music, Bacon, Chicken Wings and Dancing to old school jams. Those are my go to “Pick me ups”. What are yours? Make a list. I know it sounds corny but you’ll reference it - I promise.
Falling to deal with our personal disappointments makes everything else more difficult. Fact: We are the barometer of our home. We are the heart of our marriage & family and everything gauges off of us. It’s true, if we aren’t happy (or in a good place) everything is off. That’s why it’s critically important how we process our disappointments. Consider these points and develop a way to balance yourself. You matter & everyone under your roof is counting on you as the heart of it all.
Here at First Wives Club, we are for you & your marriage. Our goal is to support you as a wife. We recognize being a wife is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but we believe you can thrive. You’re in the right position to do so. #firstwivesclub #FWClive
(References inc from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201601/7-tips-getting-over-disappointment)
Author: Denise Taylor
I’m on a mission to help professional women thrive. Hear me loud & clear... Don’t Settle. You can have it all. I live a blessed life & you can too.