ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

Sometimes we have a tendency to look at other people’s stuff & situations and allow what we perceive as their glory to discourage us. They seem happy, achieving, committed, resolute, thriving. It’s those cute things that we tag as #relationshipgoals. Whether it’s those “snapshots of others highlights” we see on social media or the upfront seat we have to family & friends “living their best life” - without proper perspective, we could see it all wrong. I chose to cheer on their success and be encouraged instead.
Comparison is the worse habit to start bc when we do it we tend to greatly undervalue ourselves or even worse - we may even begin to overvalue ourselves. We have such a great opportunity that we sometimes lose sight of or even discredit - it’s the opportunity to be ourselves. We were never intended to be anybody else. Never intended to have what they have, live as they live or do what they do. While imitation may be the best form of flattery (for them), being a cheap copy of someone else is by far the weakest way to play yourself. You were designed to be uniquely the best version of you - never a replica of anyone else. Be the best YOU.
We live in a time where there is so much emphasis put on what we have, how we look, what we wear, where we live, what we drive, who we know, who they know, where we travel ... the list goes on & on of these biased comparisons. I say biased bc for some reason we are never the standard when we compare - we often end up being the thing that didn’t measure up. What’s even more unfortunate is we have allowed these perspectives to put undue pressure on one of the greatest blessings we have - our marriage. These outside pressures do nothing more than distract us from the true value of our marriage relationship.
Now don’t get me wrong. I like nice things and I like being able to enjoy the fruits of our labor. But the glory of my today is polar opposite to many points in our story. We have been through so much, experiencing so much loss over and over. But despite those pressures, we remained committed. It’s funny how people can look at you now and see the blessing on our lives and have no idea what you been through. And while I’m sure there are many in the FWC that are living way larger than me, I’m good. I learned years ago that we’re often busy trying to keep up with the Jones’ and the Jones’ filed bankruptcy last week.
Living our best life means that we live appreciating what we have. Not focusing on what it includes or even lacks - but recognizing it is a blessing now. This is not a message that we must settle as I am a firm believer that it’s just as important to keep an authentic desire for better, greater and more. Instead be inspired by those you see enjoying the fruits of their journey - never dismayed. You may find that once you know their story or the pressure it takes to maintain their lifestyle - you’d never even be interested in walking a day in their shoes.
Take inventory of what you have. Do me a favor and start with your marriage. List what you appreciate about it. Skip the material things - that stuff is fleeting. Start by naming just 5 things you appreciate about your marriage. Think about the true value that your mate brings to your life. Think about what you enjoy, what makes you smile and what you miss when he’s away. Of course, you can continue beyond just 5. Keep capturing until you feel the list is complete. Then read over again and bask in the beauty of what you have. Those are the true blessings of your marriage. They are the things that embody your love for him and they can never be compared to anyone or anything bc they are defined by your standard.
Here are First Wives Club, it is our sincere pleasure to be a support network for Wives. Thank you for being a part of this community. Let’s continue to build each other up. #firstwivesclub #FWClive