Here’s the bottom line... marriage is so good. We often get so hung up on the disappointments that we miss the good. It was right - what you felt about the one you love. It was genuine - what you believed that made you say yes to his proposal. It was sincere - what you committed to on your wedding day. All of it, though we may begin question it and ourselves from time to time, was good and right. Circumstances, situations and conditions can cloud our vision. But I want to remind you - it is good.
I love it when our vibe is in sync. I love it when we are thinking the same and on the same page. It feels almost magical. It feels good. I love it when I look at him and sheepishly grin and say to myself “that’s my man.” I love it when he remembers to do those little things like make sure I have gum because it’s my thing. I love it when he surprises me with my favorites or sends me a song to let me know he thinking of me. It feels so good when I can sense I’m on his mind.
We have had some wonderful wins - big and small. He has proven his trust and loyalty to me and I believe in it wholeheartedly. That’s why it’s so rude of me to ignore his track record when he stumbles on meeting my expectations. Chuck recently clapped back and said to me after I was complaining of him forgetting something... “what about the 90% of the time I’ve remembered.” You know, he’s right. I get so caught up on expecting him to nail it every time that I may need to recognize a miss with less intensity. Lol 😂 Reality is it feels to him like I am not being flexible or caring when I trip so hard. When the truth is I love my life with him. Not because its perfect but because I’m learning to choose to love my life with him. I am recognizing that my hang ups “got me straight tripping boo.” (Ok name the movie 🎥).
Anyway, I am learning. I’ve learned that appreciation has accomplished way more in just a few weeks than my nagging had in months. I am learning that he really has good intentions towards me and I need to consider his heart rather than the circumstances at hand. I am learning that leading with love truly turns away wrath. I am learning that arguments typically start with me - either overreacting or only seeing my way. Very rarely does an argument start with him. I am learning that he wants the best for me and he really doesn’t have an undertone or side motive. I am learning to be grateful for my life with him and while I talk a good game like I don’t need him - the truth is I truly do need & want him to be with me. I am learning that I need to speak from my heart and not my tough exterior. I am learning it’s ok for him to know how I feel even if it’s not my normal strong self. I am learning it’s good - it’s all good.
Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. I am thankful, appreciative & kind. My husband needs to know this about me to the point that he says those things about me on his own. Gratitude is by far the best strategy for any battle we face. Contempt only & always breeds more contempt. Gratitude keeps your heart right and your actions in check. It doesn’t make you a wimp or soft. In fact, it makes you compassionate and powerful. It makes you considerate and approachable. It is critically important for my husband above all others to know just how thankful I am for US. If you treat someone like they don’t matter, they will do the same to you. If you treat someone like they are valuable - well, they’ll do the same to you. Its good, right and worth it. I promise. Be grateful.
Here at First Wives Club, we are for you & your marriage. Our goal is to support you as a wife. We recognize being a wife is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but we believe you can win. You’re in the right position to do so. # firstwivesclub #FWClive
Author: Denise Taylor
I’m on a mission to help professional women thrive. Hear me loud & clear... Don’t Settle. You can have it all. I live a blessed life & you can too.