Your husband must be safe with you... He better know it, feel it, sense it, and believe it. Your home should be a safe place for your husband. Your arms should be a safe place for your husband. Your thoughts should be a safe place for your husband. Your heart should be a safe place for your husband.
Scriptures says it is better to dwell on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome woman. (Proverbs 21:9) I am learning that your man faces so much when they walk out the doors of your home that challenges their humanity, manhood, & confidence. And it only mounts when you factor in race, color, background and stature. We, as women & wives, will never fully know the intense pressure of being a strong man and a discipled husband. But what I am learning is the world doesn’t make it easy at all. Preconceived notions about them, predisposed assumptions & attitudes towards them, and unfair biases about them - all make it so complicated and intensifies what they face in normal everyday life. Their reality can be harsh and we must stay in tune, sensitive and even more, we must keep the tranquility of our homes peaceful, caring and safe. This doesn’t mean don’t address concerns but it does mean handling concerns in a non-threatening way. It doesn’t mean tip toeing around mistakes but it does mean leading with love - not attacks. It doesn’t mean overlooking our hurts but it does mean avoiding being quarrelsome. Your home should be a safe place for your husband.
Your love must be felt in your touch. When he feels your embrace, it must be the safest, most welcoming and incredibly desirable place for him. This is way beyond intimacy but certainly includes that as well. Your comfort must be his security. Your love must be alive and contrary to popular belief it’s on you to fuel the flame of your love for him - not him. You have to keep seeing him as desirable so you’ll desire him. We let trouble get in our heads and then our thoughts rob us of keeping him safe in our arms. If there are differences or distance wedged between you and your husband, please know that is a very dangerous state. It’s cancerous to the sanctity of your relationship. Prioritize staying connected physically. Hugs, holding hands and yes intimacy as well. I used to foolishly withhold myself from my husband especially when he upset me. In my mind I was putting him on punishment. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Intimacy is the most expressive way to connect with your husband. Never withhold. You are the only one who can rightfully please him intimately. Giving up that position weakens your relationship and creates unintended vulnerabilities. Never give up that position. Doing so is foolish and unwise. Instead pray for pleasure in it. Your arms should be a safe place for your husband.
Be wary when you find your thoughts of your husband becoming less than honorable. You must esteem him always. You have to check yourself when you find yourself dogging him out in your thoughts. He is never your enemy so don’t create war with him in your mind. When things are unpleasant, seek loving thoughts. When you’re upset, recall cherished memories of the two of you to get realigned. Many unintended actions are the result of focusing on impure thoughts. He is your life partner. You are bound with him. It is right and appropriate to respect and reverence him. It’s not so much that love is blind as much as love chooses to protect him. We have to think well of him and his intentions toward us. Your thoughts should be a safe place for your husband.
Keep you heart right towards your husband. Always choose him. Always choose your marriage. Without question things will happen to challenge your patience but he is worth it - even on his worse day. Marriage is such a huge commitment. We said it, “for better and for worse.” But we were thinking nothing but better is in store for us then the reality of worse happens. In those times, above all keep your heart fixed & focused for your husband’s well-being. Don’t get weary. A heart connection binds and will keep you connected forever. Don’t worry bc he is the right one to allow your heart to love unashamed. It will free you of being pretentious and free you truly love him with all your heart. Your heart should be a safe place for your husband.
I love quotables. If you know me, I say quotes all the time. Lol. I saw a movie last night, “Queen and Slim” and there was a line in there that inspired me. I’ll never forget it. It will inspire me to make sure my home, arms, thoughts and heart are safe for Chuck to dwell. The line, “Out there he ain’t sh*t. But in here, He’s a King.” No matter what he faces anywhere else, I will make sure he knows, feels, senses and believes that He’s my King and that he is safe with me.
Here at First Wives Club, we are for you & your marriage. Our goal is to support you as a wife. We recognize being a wife is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but we believe you can win. You’re in the right position to do so. #firstwivesclub #FWClive
Author: Denise Taylor
I’m on a mission to help professional women thrive. Hear me loud & clear... Don’t Settle. You can have it all. I live a blessed life & you can too.