Don’t know about you but it’s so odd that I sometimes (more often than I care to admit) have more patience & acceptance of people that are not close to me. They are not as necessary to me as my husband. With them I am more willing to listen & be understanding. How is that?
Being intentional to show my true feelings to Chuck and not my frustration is something I work at every single day - even 25 years later. I earnestly want to uphold him and cherish him but from time to time I find myself serving him nothing but attitude. It’s like I get stuck and can’t let some things go. I struggle to forgive quickly. I guess, I figure he should know better. Crazy because I can go from zero to with it. Like I can let the smallest thing become a molehill in a nano-second. And I know it’s because I choose to carry way too much baggage. That junk in my trunk makes me perturb, displaying an attitude as big as a skyscraper. Reality is I am causing unnecessary issues to make me stew in my fury rather than be kind.
These raw feelings get in the way of me consistently investing myself fully in our happiness and peace. They get in the way of staying in love. And yeah, he has a role in it but I can only control my part. We really need to treat our husbands with kindness. Simple as it sounds, kindness is really the key to staying in love.
Research has shown that taking more loving actions actually makes you feel more in love. In any interaction with your husband, whether it’s personal or practical, try to be kind in how you express yourself. This softens your husband, even in heated moments. Continuing to be loving and generous has a huge payoff and a million rewards. It makes you feel good within yourself and creates space for him to ultimately move closer to you. It allows you to be more compassionate towards him and feel for his experience, separate from yours, which also increases your own feelings of interest, attraction, and tenderness.
Staying in love takes focused effort. It’s difficult to always be kind because we’re living life in full color, completely out-loud with one another. And while pife together is full of goodness, hope and possibility - it is at the same time full of flaws, confusion, and unspoken expectations. We have to balance ourselves and realize that our husband is a significant factor in our future. We have to chose to not only love but to be kind, too. It’s true that our attitude determines your altitude and an attitude of kindness will help us soar. Be kind & go high(er).
Here at First Wives Club, we are for you & your marriage. Our goal is to support you as a wife. We recognize being a wife is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but we believe you can thrive. You’re in the right position to do so. #firstwivesclub #FWClive
Author: Denise Taylor
I’m on a mission to help professional women thrive. Hear me loud & clear... Don’t Settle. You can have it all. I live a blessed life & you can too.