FIND THE GOOD IN YOUR HUSBAND

Our best asset is hope. Above every materialistic thing you own, HOPE is and will always be your best asset. I have learned that life ebs & flows. Just as quickly as you may find yourself up, you may soon & very soon find yourself down. And when these shifts take place, disappointment can set in real strong. And should it tarry long, disappointment can begin to take a toll on us, robbing us of joy & peace. Disappointment with life, circumstances, failures or people can throw us into emotional chaos - causing us to be sad, mad & everything else in between.

There is no disappointment that impacts us more as wives than when find ourselves disappointed in our marriage. It’s not always easy to just “get over it” bc we find ourselves stuck with whatever it is on the very forefront of our minds on instant replay. It’s deep when it comes to marriage, because we foolishly started this whole thing with this crazy notion that he will always see it our way, want what we want, and prioritize us first. It’s those stupid fairytales that set us up. He was wooing you. And while he may indeed grow to see it your way, want what you want and prioritize you first - there’s likely a journey of disappointments that you’ll experience to get there. And plainly speaking, that sucks.

I often say, wanting your marriage is critically important. You must protect your resolve for your marriage at all cost. Wanting your marriage is the impetus or source of your ability to stick with it. It is the crux of your desire for your marriage that sets you up to fight for it in the face of all anger, disaster or devastation. It is your hope and it is mighty. Hope is empowering. Hope ignites another try that flies in the face of disappointment, regardless of how gut wrenching the pain is.

While I haven’t personally faced the painful disappointment of adultery, I watched my friend deal with it. I had a front row seat as I helped her navigate this devastating situation. And to say it was painful is an understatement. We cried as her pain was realized more and more. She experienced every manner of emotion you could have. Her world was corrupted with this betraying act. It was as if she was swept up in an emotional whirlwind and she had to hold on for dear life.

Thinking about it makes me cringe bc she was so low & depleted in every way. As her friend, a close friend, I just tried my best to be there for her as she was processing everything she learned about what happened. That meant I helped her with every emotion, every outbreak, every outcry - everything. It took a long time for her to wade through the pain. Her life was literally raging & crashing around her. So heartbreaking. But I will never forget the day I was sitting with her and asked what did she want and in that instant she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “I want my marriage.” What I saw glistening in her eyes was HOPE. It was like a twinkle. Well, it’s been well over 20 years and she still has her marriage. Hope helped her to forgive. Hope helped her to heal. Hope helped her to love him in an extraordinary way. They are thriving. She taught me that you can get over the really hard stuff if you choose to cling to hope.

We experience so much disappointment. Regardless the degree of it - always cling to hope. Your marriage is worth it. Jesse Jackson had it right - “Keep Hope Alive.”

Here at First Wives Club, we are for you & your marriage. Our goal is to support you as a wife. We recognize being a wife is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but we believe you can win. You’re in the right position to do so.#firstwivesclub #FWClive