We’re our own biggest critic. We rarely think what we do or who we are good enough. We are quick to dismiss the things we do and achieve by simply saying “it’s nothing” when others compliment how great we look or how great we did. The thought of us being just that good eludes us. We don’t allow ourselves to embrace the pure joy that comes from our own well doing. It’s not that we suffer from low self esteem as much as we choose not to believe our own hype.
Here’s what I know - we all make a lot of really great stuff happen. Our investments are meaningful. People rely on us. They look forward to time with us. They excitedly recognize our gifts and so enjoy who we are. It’s time that we willingly accept just how dope we are as a person. It’s not our pride or even false humility that makes us downplay our strengths. I think it’s bc when we truly flow in our gifts, it feels effortless to us. We are able to operate in our gifts so freely that we don’t think much of it. We shrug it off often bc it feels like we didn’t do anything. We wrongly equate our expelling low effort to minimal impact or results. And that’s a mistake. Bc it’s with ease that we flow, we are quick to discount hie good we are.
Here is why this is so incredibly important. Our gifts lead to our greatness and when we discount our gifts we are ultimately discounting our greatness. We don’t want ever get used to doing that. It becomes a critical misstep. We are ALL destined for greatness but many of us get distracted on our greatness journey. Compliments from others are simply reminders and recognition of our greatness. We should receive compliments graciously instead deflecting them as doing so is turning down well intended encouragement which is something we all need. A compliment is, after all, a kind of gift and when deflect you may even be insulting the person sharing, suggesting that you don’t value them as highly as they value you.
I found myself downplaying a lot even with Chuck. He’d say very complimentary things & I wouldn’t embrace his words with grace. I’d say or think “you’re just saying that”. I’ve found that by me not just graciously receiving his expressions, he felt as if I didn’t believe he was sincere. And over time my actions began to silence his voice. I noticed he wasn’t as forthcoming in this way as he used to be. Until I found I was missing his “Atagirls” and praise. I realized that I wasn’t open to receive. I am learning to just say thank you to him and others. I am learning to be mindful of my non-verbal behavior. I am learning not to question but to instead embrace the moment and be grateful. Graceful acceptance gives both you and the giver great pleasure. The best thing about learning to accept compliments is that it’ll give you the chance to see yourself as others see you - which is probably pretty amazing.
Here at First Wives Club, we are for you & your marriage. Our goal is to support you as a wife. We recognize being a wife is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but we believe you can win. You’re in the right position to do so. #firstwivesclub #FWClive
Author: Denise Taylor
I’m on a mission to help professional women thrive. Hear me loud & clear... Don’t Settle. You can have it all. I live a blessed life & you can too.