Clearly my husband takes his title seriously As he should. He is the One and as far as I’m concerned he is my ONLY for life. Funny how he considered my calling him “my friend” a demotion (y’all come get him). It’s really not. In fact, it is not something many couples can say about their spouse, esp after 25 years. Crazy, right?!?
Many couples are tolerating one another or worse yet, they are just biding time until they can make a shift. They seem to have lost their love and friendship to frustration, calculation and weariness. They are going through the paces but not truly enjoying one another as lovers let alone friends.
I don’t know about you but when I’m with friends, we enjoy one another’s company. We are attentive to one another’s needs, responses, looks, humor, glances and vibe. We recognize when one another needs space, grace, chase or simply a moment. We’re not afraid to be vulnerable, share secrets, or express concern. We cheer on one another, ask for forgiveness, lift each other’s head and even come to the other’s defense if needed. The friendship package is steeped with beautiful benefits.
All of this should be automatic in marriage, but the reality is for many couples, it’s not. There is a lot of “hateration & holleration in their dancerie” (sorry I MJB). Believe me, there are many couples on fumes fueled by frustration. I know ... bc I’ve been there. It wasn’t pretty and it didn’t feel good. But I’m glad I got a grip before it destroyed what I value.
I had to find the courage to fight for my marriage the right way so that I/we didn’t sink further into complacency and discontent. It doesn’t mean we don’t disagree, have conflict, or experience frustration bc we do. It just means we don’t stay there long enough for any roots of those weeds to grow and disrupt our love. We are not perfect but we are committed to one another and strive to protect our relationship.
I sent Chuck that text yesterday bc I want him to know that BEYOND being my husband, I truly value him as my friend, too. I’m glad can say that and truly mean it.
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Author: Denise Taylor
I’m on a mission to help professional women thrive. Hear me loud & clear... Don’t Settle. You can have it all. I live a blessed life & you can too.