No Wiser Words

Some of the best life lessons learned are those we learn through watching and sharing with others. When people open up authentically to share their experiences, it is the prime opportunity to take note and heed the wisdom. It's an advantage to reflect on your own experience and maybe see what you can do better, improve or even avoid. Those nuggets are priceless and can often help you navigate more effectively and may even save you some struggle.

Even after 25 years of marriage, I am fascinated by the many confirmations, assurances and cautions I am learning by supporting wives. I am constantly reminded of the necessary investments I must continue to make daily in my own marriage, holding me accountable to teach what I practice - not practice what I teach. I am still learning and striving as the work of marriage never ends.

This question was posed in a community of divorcees and I was immediately intrigued:
"Without blaming your Ex, what should you have done different in your last relationship?"

I knew the responses would permeate wisdom so I was all ears. As you read this list ... imagine a person who is picking up the pieces of their life taking time to share with you what they took away from their shattered dream of happiness. It's the wisdom of what they would do differently, knowing what they know now. Take heed and consider where you are and if you can relate... make a shift before goodbye:
- Cared for myself more / self care
- Been more calm / emotional control
- Set boundaries earlier
- Be authentic - I was never really myself around her
- Love myself more & listened to my instincts
- Left the first time I was disrespected
- Better communication / take the lead in talking
- Not married so young
- Let go of my insecurities & my past
- Stood up for what I wanted
- Had higher standards / not tolerate all I did
- Said things that bothered me rather than acting like its OK
- Worked less
- Listen more
- Be less focused on making money
- Be confident and focus on my dreams and ambitions
- Show my emotions & share them more
- Not lose myself in him
- Allow arguments to happen
- Show affection
- Let go of resentment
- Stand up for myself
- Recognize the addiction
- Took more time to think about what he was saying
- Be willing to compromise
- Gave more respect
- Not try to change him
- Be more willing the empathize
- Left at the first sign of abuse
- Ask for what I needed
- Put God first
- Heal before going into another relationship
- Been more honest
- Shared my expectations
- Should have not been a Superwoman - doing it all
- Stop sweeping stuff under the rug
- Listened to my mother
- Been more aware of finances
- Stop prioritizing his happiness over mine
- Read between the lines

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