Our words have power. Power to affirm our resolve as well as power to change us. I hope that everyone can authentically say they love their mate from a sincere place of happiness. I hope that saying “I love you” is nothing more than a piece of cake for you and you mean it through & through. I hope you say it often and think it always. I hope that it shows - that your love shows and you look like you’re floating on air ‘cause you’re so happy. Love is beautiful and it brings out the best in us.
But for me, I know how it can get sometimes. Sometimes, you may feel like you don’t like him let alone love him. You may feel like you don’t want to be there or even roll your eyes when he walks through the door. If he ask you something you’re thinking “shut up”. If he reaches to touch you, you’re thinking “please stop”. With all those thoughts racing through your head, the very last thing you’re even thinking of saying is “I love you”. I can relate. I’ve been hurt - by acts of his omission & commission. Didn’t matter bc both still hurt like heck. I was notorious for stewing. I can stew with the best of them. Don’t even try me. But what I learned is it took a whole lot of effort to stay stewed and I often became so unpleasant that nobody wanted to be bothered with me. Then, that made me mad bc you’re suppose to keep trying to connect even when I say “stop”. (Man, we can be a trip!).
Anyway, I began to realize that behavior wasn’t doing anything more than glorifying my hurt and doing so didn’t serve me long term. There really wasn’t anything good in being the best stewer. No prize. No nothing. So, I had to learn to “respond” rather than “react” as things came up. (I’ll talk about that soon). I also had to choose to always let love win, even if I had to do it ... reluctantly. I had to find the courage within myself to allow my disappointment, pain and hurt to take a backseat to love. By telling him “I love you” I reminded myself what was truly important and where I truly needed to invest my energy. Hearing me say to him “I love you” in the midst of it all turned out to be soothing. Almost like Neosporin to a scrape. It set me on the right course for healing and it affirmed my ultimate goal which is to be a lover - HIS lover. Being his lover means loving all of him - not just the intimate parts at intimate times. Saying “I love you” is a great way to check yourself. Mustering up the courage to say it - even if you have to say it reluctantly.
Here at First Wives Club, we are for you & your marriage. Our goal is to support you as a wife. We recognize being a wife is likely one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but we believe you can win. You’re in the right position to do so. Love your man. Say “I love you” to him and watch him receive your words. Say it often & see love begin to blossom all over him. #firstwivesclub
Author: Denise Taylor
I’m on a mission to help professional women thrive. Hear me loud & clear... Don’t Settle. You can have it all. I live a blessed life & you can too.