DEC 2020: TONYA MCADOO

I knew that Jono was the one for me when I found out that he had good credit! LOL! That might sound funny, but for me that symbolized honesty, loyalty and integrity.  Jono’s integrity was tested when he showed up at my house on a Friday night to help me paint my living room.  His kind gesture was something that several others had promised but did not follow through. He truly won me over.  Jono is a man of his word which is something that I still adore about him to this day.

We currently reside in Charlotte, NC and have been married two years.  Jono and I met in May of 1999 at a dear friend’s house.  We did not date exclusively until March of 2007 simply because the timing was not right for us.

​We got engaged in July 2017 and we married on August 18, 2018.  We took and unconventional route to marriage because initially we were at a point of lust, so we waited for love true love.  The first three years of our dating relationship was pure bliss, but over the next several years the real Tonya and Jono surfaced.  There were days when we liked one another and days where we did not.   There were many days that I wanted to call it quits, but I would always hear Joyce Meyer say, “everybody has faults but try to meditate on the good things; and stop quitting in difficult situations.”  When I did that, I realized that the good outweighed the bad and this was a relationship that I should continue to pursue. 
​
My “Wife Wisdom” is do not try to resolve issues when you’re upset because chances are, you will say or do something that you will later regret and cannot take back.  Next, I would say listen, listen, and listen.  It is important that you understand what your spouse is saying to you before you offer a rebuttal or become defensive.  If you listen, paraphrase what you have heard and offer validation, you might be able to resolve said issues because you now have a clear understanding of what your spouse is trying to say to you.  Next, have a regularly scheduled date night.  We often get caught up with life and we forget to enjoy our spouses with the much-needed quality time.  Last, but certainly not least, be respectful of one another.  Learn to embrace your differences and be open to change because change is inevitable for a successful marriage.
I love Denise and The First Wives club.  This group is a breath of fresh air for married women.  Denise provides us with and wealth of knowledge and wisdom regarding how to have and maintain a healthy marriage.  She spends countless hours making sure that we are the best wives that we can possibly be.  I look forward to being more active and doing more with the group whenever the pandemic is over.  Denise thank you for this opportunity and for all that you pour into us as wives.

---