JAN 2020: VALERIE BENNETT

Your marriage is unique, it's different from any other marriage. Your marriage is what you make of it. I received this advice from a co-worker years ago before I was married. Her wife wisdom has been beneficial to my marriage.

I had been married for a short while, approximately two weeks, when I walked past my husband, headed for the front door and before exiting, hearing a man's voice, "hi," "where you going?" I turned around as if surprised he was even there, my response, "oh yeah," "I'm going to Walmart." "Do you wanna come?" 
This was my first marriage and I definitely would have to acclimate myself to being married. The words of my coworker rang in my head. I definitely had some work to do.

I sure could have used the advice and encouragement of the First Wives Club during those first years of marriage. Nevertheless, we survived 11 years of marriage, soon-to-be 12 years March 15th.

A few things had to take place. I had to allow my husband to take his role as head of household. I have to say that again, I had to allow my husband to take his position as head of household. Yes, I had to allow him. I had been a single mother running my household for 23 years and relinquishing my position was like removing gum from the floor. 

Don't share marital issues with everyone. I have a particular person I vent to where my marriage is concerned. She is the person I feel God lead me to, and here's why. My husband and I had a disagreement and I decided to call my person and share this disagreement with her, just knowing she was going to be on my side, haha. In the midst of me explaining the disagreement she calls me Valerie Clark, Clark is my maiden name. I reminded her that I was married now and no longer a Clark. She said I know, but you're still acting like a Clark. Her words stung like a bee and left me with that goofy look on my face, because I knew she was right. I was still trying to be something that I wasn't, single. I believe God gave that to her to give to me, because I was always constantly before him praying and asking him to show me how to be a wife. Which leads to my next wife wisdom, prayer.

Always keep your marriage, your spouse and yourself covered in prayer. We have an adversary who is against us and he attacks marriage on every end. Keep those ends tucked in prayer. Make it a habit of praying together as well as apart. Never stop praying. Read God's Word together, God's Word will give you direction and help you to communicate with each other. Which is my last wife wisdom. 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to communicate with each other. Sit across from each other, giving each other eye contact. Give each other your undivided attention allowing no distractions. Give each other the respect of listening to what the other is saying without treating it as if it is irrelevant. What's irrelevant to me may be relevant to my spouse, therefore it's relevant to our marriage. It takes three to the build a marriage and you're in this marriage together. Ecclesiastes 4:12

We constantly pour into each other, making regular deposits of kind gestures, love text, love notes, encouraging text, date nights, intimate moments Etc. I never thought I could fall more in love with my husband, but over the years I have. He is my soul mate for life and we are foreverUs2.

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