JUL 2021: DEVERA ALSTON

We met on Tagged.com (Social Media Site) in May, 2009.  We were married September 10, 2011.  We currently reside in Mint Hill, North Carolina. We are a blended family with Five (5) Daughters and one Son.  We have six biological grand children and 6 additional grand children that we love as our own.

Jesse (Jay) and I met on a Social Media Site called Tagged.com in 2009.  Jesse reached out to me for a Meet and Greet on day in May of 2009. Now we had not had much on-line interactions with each other, but for some reason, I felt inclined to accept his invitation.  I was frantic once I realized what I had done, but it was too late to back out now.  We met at Hickory Tavern in Charlotte, NC on May 8, 2009, and have never looked back. 

​We have gone through some challenging times, especially the first two years, but giving up was not an option (his famous words).  The 1st two years were ROCKY, as we had to learn one another’s Love Language, or in better terms learn how to communicate with one another.  We would misinterpret the intent of each other’s statements. As a woman, I would analyze what he said and turn it to something negative, however, his intent was not what I received from his statements.  The same for him, he would misunderstand my statements or intentions, as he was interpreting my actions, based upon his past experiences with other mates from the past.  After several premarital counseling sessions with our then Pastor, Milton Alexander Williams, Jr., we finally sat down together and had a peaceful conversation.  We learned that day, that we should always ask our mate, what their statement means at that moment.  Never assume you know what was meant in a disagreement, always clarify and allow your mate to explain what they meant by any statement that offends or hurts you.

On April 9, 2011, Jesse “Jay” proposed to me at my cousin’s 50th Birthday Party.  I was THRILLED, SHOCKED and SCARED all at the same time.  I immediately, took off running across the room away from him.  Once my heart stopped beating out of my Chest, I said Yes.  He only gave me 6 months to plan a Wedding.  We were married on September 10, 2011; and we currently reside in Mint Hill, North Carolina.  We have managed to move forward since 9/10/11 without one argument.  Jesse “Jay” Alston, is truly my Best Friend. We are at that point in our marriage that we complete each other’s thoughts and sentences.  It is kind of weird and also confirming that we are on the same page.   I firmly believe that God sent my husband to me as he knew that my husband would be a Breath of Fresh air for me at this time in my life.  It was a journey to get here, but we’ve made it. 

Marital Wisdom:  My marital Wisdom would be “Don’t provoke your mates’ insecurities”.  Always keep God First in your marriage and keep family on the outside of your marriage.  Do not run to your family when problems arise, talk it out with your mate.  Once you allow your family into your marital issues, they are not as forgiving as you are.  Throughout our relationship, my husbands, falls on his knees whenever there’s angst in his heart and he ask God, what do you want me to do.  You gave her to me, now what do I need to do to keep her.  Always keep pray in your marriage, it works.
 
First Wives Club:  I love the First Wives Club.  It’s a much needed opportunity for wives to interact with other wives and know that they are not alone.  We often believe that its just our issues, however, First Wives Club allows you to vent and to also see that its a cycle in marriages that most go through.  It allows you to see that you are normal.  I love being apart of this Group and look forward to the future progress of the First Wives Club.

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